Dear Aunt Mary Alice,
It’s us, Autumn and Emma. Remember you talked to us on the phone yesterday?
Well, it’s me, Chatty Autumn who will fill you in on the rest of our day. You are just gonna love having grandkids. We’re much fun.
To do a recap of what we talked about on the phone, well, some of it. Remember I told you how mad I was at Emma because she took my ball? I got it back. Ha!
While it’s true that I like to look into drawers and Gammy’s jewelry box, I don’t take things out of the drawers like Emma does. And hey, when I remove things from the jewelry box, I sweetly say, “Hi, Gammy. I clean up this mess.” And I do.
Of course, at home I don’t always clean up things. One day I got in big trouble when Daddy told me to pick up my toys and I didn’t want to. So I says to him, “Daddy, you are such an asshole.” And since I speak well, he understood what I said. Mommy has to quit saying things like that. I didn’t know it was a bad thing! I mean, oh man, I’m only 2 ½ years old.
Then I got in trouble another day. I was only trying to be helpful. Mommy wanted to dress me. I think I can dress myself! I’m old enough. So I says, “Mommy, leave me alone. I dress myself. You go to the kitchen and make my breakfast.” I made Mommy late for work that day. She wasn’t happy with me.
Back to Gammy’s house. My Pappaw Chris and Sandra, along with Holden and Noah (Noah is my 6 month old uncle), came to Gammy’s to pick me and Emma up to go to their house. Well, this was after Great-Pappaw, Pappaw and me and Emma went to the dump with them. The older folks are in the kitchen chatting away and Pappaw is fooling with Great-Pappaw’s computer. I kept yelling, “Pappaw, Pappaw, come here.” But they ignored me.
By this time Emma had a lot of dirt from Gammy’s one potted plant and she threw it everywhere, including on her brother Holden, who just sat there with his nose in his game boy. I, on the other hand, kept scooping up the dirt from the pile on the steps that go to the spa. My little hands can’t hold much, you know. But I tried to put it back into the pot, while Auntie Em made a big mess. Finally, Great-Pappaw walks out and catches Emma in the act. And if that weren’t bad enough, Emma threw the pillows from the rocking chairs onto the floor.
To say Great-Pappaw wasn’t happy, well, you know how that goes. He tells Emma in that big booming voice, “Emma Victoria, pick up those pillows and put them back right now.” Emma is so stubborn. I knew she was in big trouble by the sound of Great-Pappaw’s voice. Then everyone else is staring at us and I was scared. While Emma was being yelled at to pick them up and she stood there throwing the world’s biggest temper tantrum, I picked up the pillows and put them on the chairs. She absolutely refused. So she wanted her daddy to pick her up and he wouldn’t because he had to clean up the dirt. And her mommy wouldn’t pick her up, so the next person she knew would take pity on her was Gammy. She picked her up and we sat on the coffee table together for a while, listening to Emma sobbing, then we went to comfort in a chair. I chatted away and Gammy asked Emma if she learned a lesson and wouldn’t do that anymore. She said no.
Anyhow, Emma wants to tell you about what happened, her version.
Hi, Aunt Mary Alice. Thank you for kissing my boo-boo over the telephone. I fell again after that and Pappaw had to put a bandage on my knee. Before you were on the phone, when Gammy was in the shower, I found Gammy’s flashlight in her bedroom. You know, that’s a pretty neat thing. When Pappaw told me to put it up, well, I found a reason for using it. Gammy told me to put it up and I told her, “I’m checking my boo-boos.” I mean, I needed that light to check on the marks I have from falling and walking into things. But when she threatened me with, “Emma, if you don’t put that back, I’ll find all your binkies and throw them away,” I quickly returned it to its spot.
I simply don’t understand all the fuss they made about the dirt. It isn’t like there isn’t a lot of dirt in all sorts of pots. And throwing it around was fun. Holden just sat there like a bump on the log. Autumn, the clean one, tried to clean up my mess, and me? I was having a lot of fun. There was dirt all over the place. Really cool.
It was until my Pappaw told me to pick up the cushions off the floor. What’s the big deal? Someone probably wanted to sit on the floor and it would be much softer than sitting on that river rock floor. But no, Pappaw had to use that big loud voice of his to tell me to pick them up. I refused. No way would I pick them up. And along comes my do-gooder niece and I knew she’s pick them up. She hates to see me get in trouble.
I really screamed. No one cared. They said what I did wasn’t nice. I finally got Gammy to pick me up and I cried and sobbed all over here. I knew she’d be the sucker to baby me. Well, she did some, but told me I had to learn to listen and not do things I shouldn’t. She simply doesn’t know how to have fun!
Oh, let me tell you about the day before. We’re eating dinner, ya know? And I see Uncle Doug putting something on his plate and I says, “I want some.” I picked up my plate and my food went flying onto the floor. The dogs love me when I visit. If food doesn’t accidently fly off my plate, then I manage to share it with the dogs. They love it when I drop pieces of mac and cheese on the floor for them. So why is it I get in trouble when I eat their food and snacks? I mean, if I share my food with them, why does everyone yell at me for taking their food? It’s rather tasty. Try it some time.
Then we went to get Autumn and suddenly I felt sick. Gammy says it was the dog food I ate. Pappaw says it was the chocolate chip cookies. Greg says there was green stuff in my vomit. That was the broccoli I ate, I guess. And I’d rather blame my ill tummy on that. Either way, I felt great after I threw up. My brother-in-law Greg held me over the toilet and my sister Ashley gave both me and Autumn bathes.
Anyhow, I thought I’d throw one more guilt trip on Gammy. We’re sitting on the porch after the clean up and my sobbing had subsided and I said to Gammy, “I don’t wanna go home. I wanna stay here.”
Just said it for shock effect. I knew she was ready for me to go home. And then Autumn adds, “I want to go with Emma.” Gammy smiled. “Yes, darlings, you are going to Emma’s house for a few days.”
Love to all,
Autumn and Emma
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